My love language is Words of Affirmations. For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, allow me to explain. There is a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It outlines five ways to express and experience love between romantic partners. When you take the Five Love Languages quiz, it ranks you on all 5 types of languages from the highest to the lowest. The language with the highest score is your love language.
What's the point of the book? Allow me to give you a real life example. I am Words of Affirmation to the fullest extent. I LOVE to tell people I love how I feel about them! I tell Kim all the time how much I appreciate her small kindnesses. I could write sonnets about how pretty she looks and proclaim to the world how the sunlight turns her brown eyes into the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! Those words will never feel as good for her to hear as it does for me to say. Why? Kim's love language is physical touch. Here is the difference.
People like me who are words of affirmation thrive on verbal expressions of love, appreciation, and validation. I will replay a compliment or a genuine thank you in my head for weeks! People who are physical touch feel most loved with a hug, embrace, kiss, or some good old fashioned snuggle time. Kim will set an alarm before she actually needs to get up for work just to ensure some conscious snuggle time together. She is happiest when she gets to be physically close to me. But that same snuggle time (albeit wonderful) doesn't cause little heart bubbles to float from my head.
Learning your partner's love language will ensure that you are sending love in the way they are able receive it. But it takes practice. As crazy as it sounds, I had to practice holding hands with Kim! I like holding hands, but I was never the one to initiate it. I consider myself an affectionate person by nature but I don't feel more loved when I'm hugged. When I find myself about to verbally express how much I love Kim, I reroute that message into a hug, kiss or long embrace. I make sure to scoot a little closer to her on the couch and play with her hair while we're binging Netflix.
Have you ever heard the phrase, "Happy wife happy life"? The best part about learning your partner's love language is when they are fulfilled and happy, so are you. Kim makes it a point to verbally express what I mean to her. Sometimes she tells me in the moment and sometimes I wake up to cute Post It notes on the bathroom mirror. Living together in quarantine & social distancing has taught us so much about one another. Reading this book showed us how to love one another better.
The Beatles said it best, "All you need is love". But it’s better when the love is spoken in a language you’re both fluent in. 💕